Meet Sarah
“I've really welcomed having a stoma bag because my bag saved my life. I was always going to embrace it, but it is something that factors into my dating life. If you're going to be intimate with someone or if you're going to live with someone, you have to have a conversation at some point about the bag.”
Sarah shares her journey of navigating the dating world since her bowel cancer diagnosis in 2018 and why being open and honest about her stoma bag is important for her.
“I don't like to come straight out saying ‘Oh I've had cancer’. It feels like you’ll make that your personality. On the other hand, I would rather it was in my dating app profile than having to bring it into a conversation on a first date. I think it saves a little bit of time to say that I've had bowel cancer in my profile.
“I'm lucky that I get to say this, but I am now cancer-free. That's important to disclose as well, because I think it's important to give people the full story.
“I've dated a little bit since I had my cancer diagnosis and treatment. To start, I wouldn't tell people about my diagnosis or stoma bag and the dates didn't go very far. I think that's because I wasn't being totally honest.
"One of my dates was a bit of a problem. I met him on a dating app and my stoma bag farted very loudly during the date. I didn't feel like explaining to him what that was all about, so it just didn't go anywhere.
“What I found is that it's much better to be open about having a stoma bag and cancer, otherwise it just feels like I'm missing something out."
Learn more about bowel cancer
"What I found is that it's much better to be open about having a stoma bag and cancer"
In this video, Sarah talks about her experiences of dating after her bowel cancer diagnosis and having a stoma bag. She shares what she'd put on a dating app profile.
"Everyone is different... if you need space, give yourself space."
"When I went through my cancer experience and I was getting surgery and chemotherapy, I didn't think about dating at all. I just wanted to focus on getting better. Everyone is different.
"Some people might want to stay with normality and that might be a way to make life continue feeling normal while this slightly abnormal thing is happening. But if you need space, give yourself space. You'd be surprised by how things can get back to normal after a cancer diagnosis.
Everyone deserves love and companionship, and we need to have open conversations about the impact that a cancer diagnosis can have on dating and relationships.
Learn more about dating with cancer diagnosis.
