How to plan a funeral for someone
Planning the funeral
You can plan a funeral yourself, but most people prefer to use a funeral director (undertaker). If you are worried about the cost of the funeral, you can talk to different funeral directors before deciding who to use.
You can get contact details of funeral directors from your local phone book or online. The National Association of Funeral Directors (NAFD) and the National Society of Allied and Independent Funeral Directors (SAIF) also have lists of funeral directors.
You may have clear ideas about the funeral service and what you would like to include. You can also get ideas from books, the funeral director or online. Here are some things to think about when planning a funeral.
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Choosing the type of funeral
Your relative or friend may have talked about the type of funeral they wanted. They may even have planned their funeral in advance. Some people leave instructions in their will or have a prepaid funeral plan.
If they have not left instructions, you might like to think about what they would have wanted. The funeral director can give you advice about things to consider. Talk to other people who knew them and get ideas from them too. Do not feel you have to make all the decisions yourself.
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Religious and non-religious ceremonies
Some people have a strong religious or spiritual faith. You can ask their faith leader to conduct the funeral or religious service.
Some people have no religious beliefs, and live their lives as humanists, agnostics or atheists. A relative or friend can lead the funeral service, or you can ask a humanist official to conduct a non-religious ceremony. Your funeral director can give you more information about this.
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Where to have the funeral service
Some people have a clear idea of where they want to have the funeral or memorial service. A funeral, religious service or non-religious service can be held wherever you like. Services are often held in a place of worship, at a funeral home or at a crematorium. They can be held in other places if you prefer, such as in your relative or friend’s home, or a favourite place they liked to visit.
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Burial
A burial is usually in a cemetery or other official burial place. It is also possible for people to be buried in other places, such as a garden or woodland. If you want to bury someone on a property you own or in a place they loved, you can get information from the Natural Death Centre. In some religions, it is important for burial to take place very soon after the person has died.
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Cremation
If you are planning a cremation, you should contact your relative or friend’s GP. They can arrange for a cremation form to be completed. This form needs to be signed by 2 GPs:
- 1 who knew your relative or friend
- 1 who did not know them.
They may contact you for more information before the form is completed.
If your relative or friend died in hospital or a hospice, the doctor there can arrange a cremation form if you need one.
A cremation takes place in a crematorium. Your relative or friend may have talked to you about what to do with their ashes. You can collect the ashes and follow their wishes when you are ready. If you are planning to scatter them somewhere, you may need to get permission from the landowner. You can read more at Scattering Ashes.
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Paying for the funeral
If you are arranging your relative or friend’s funeral, you will be responsible for paying the funeral costs. The person may have had a prepaid funeral plan or an insurance policy that covers the cost. Or if they have left money, this can be used to pay for the funeral.
Sometimes, banks and building societies will allow you to use money to pay for the funeral before probate is granted. But they do not have to do this. You may have to pay the funeral costs while you are waiting for probate.
The Social Fund is a government fund that makes payments to people in need. To be eligible for most Social Fund payments, you need to be receiving certain benefits when you apply.
These payments include a funeral expenses payment to help with the cost of arranging a funeral. It will not cover the whole cost of the funeral. You may have to pay the government back from any money you get from the person’s estate, such as their savings.
The fund is run by the Department for Work and Pensions. If you live in England, Scotland or Wales, visit gov.uk or contact your local Jobcentre Plus.
If you live in Northern Ireland, visit NI Direct or contact your nearest Jobs and Benefits office for more information.
Help from the government
The Social Fund is a government fund that makes payments to people in need. To be eligible for most Social Fund payments, you need to be receiving certain benefits when you apply.
These payments include a Funeral Payment to help with the cost of arranging a funeral. It will not cover the cost of the whole funeral bill. You may have to pay the government back from any money you get from the person’s estate, such as their savings. The fund is run by the Department for Work and Pensions.
- If you live in England, Scotland, or Wales - visit gov.uk or contact your local Jobcentre Plus office for more information on Funeral Payments.
- If you live in Northern Ireland - visit nidirect.gov.uk or contact your nearest Social Security Agency office for more information. You will find its number in the phone book or on its website, communities-ni.gov.uk.
After the funeral
The days and weeks after the funeral can be very difficult. After you have been busy organising the funeral, it can feel very quiet. It is a good idea to try not to do too much too soon. It is important to take time to look after yourself.
You will need time to get used to your relative or friend not being there and the changes this brings. Some cultures have rituals or practices that people do at these times to help them cope with a person’s death.
You may feel very emotional at this time. Some people may try to keep busy to avoid their feelings. But do not be afraid to show your emotions. It is natural to feel sad or cry. We have more information about feelings and how to cope with them.
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About our information
This information has been written, revised and edited by Macmillan Cancer Support’s Cancer Information Development team. It has been reviewed by expert medical and health professionals and people living with cancer.
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ReferencesBelow is a sample of the sources used in our information. If you would like more information about the sources we use, please contact us at informationproductionteam@macmillan.org.uk
Pearce C, Wong G, Kuhn I, and Barclay S. Supporting bereavement and complicated grief in primary care: a realistic review. BJGP Open. 2021; 5, 3. Available from https://bjgpopen.org/content/5/3/BJGPO.2021.0008 [accessed Feb 2023].
GOV.UK. What to do when someone dies: step by step. Available from www.gov.uk [accessed Feb 2023].
GOV.UK. Guidance for doctors completing medical certificate of cause of death in England and Wales. 2022. Available from www.gov.uk [accessed Feb 2023].
National Records of Scotland. Registration of deaths and still-births. Available from www.nrscotland.gov.uk [accessed April 2023].
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